To My Baby Daddy:
I noticed you as the father to our children well before you did. At least I think so, anyway. I saw you as my baby daddy the first time I met your youngest niece and nephew. They both adored you, running up to you with little hands held high to greet you. You were such a natural with them. As you held your toddler niece on your lap and talked with her – I saw you talking to our daughter. I let you know what beautiful girls you would make. I wonder if that’s when you knew you were going to be my baby daddy, too.
You were so young, and that you would want children not long after we were married took me off guard. With an unfulfilling post college career, I joined the notion that an early family start would do the trick.
I’m so glad we did.
Watching you with our first little girl – with the same tenderness but much greater concern – filled my new mommy sized need to watch my daughter adore her daddy. That little nugget changed how I valued you. Not only did I love and respect you as my husband, but I adored my new baby daddy.
After little girl #2 – I loved to remind you all the time how I told you that you would make pretty girls and you did – you moved gracefully into your best role yet as a toddler/pre-school dad. Going back and forth between filling our big girl’s heart up, to getting baby girl out of her crib to come to hand her to me to nurse, you flexed your baby daddy skills.
Little girls need their daddy in a most profound way – and you found every avenue to make sure they had their imaginations worked out. Sitting on the floor playing pretend, coming up with stories to entertain them, telling them your dad jokes when you changed diapers and helped encourage plenty of potty-training time – you filled them up.
As they grew, you grew with them. You found their interests and how best to reach them and you did. Hours of playing on the trampoline, pushing cars and balls on the floor, pretending with My Little Ponies, a ridiculous number of hours of video games, and tons of hours of loud dance parties, are just a few of their memories. The times you spend with just each one individually will be parts of them they hold the dearest.
You watched them on the sidelines of t-ball, soccer and therapies. You held them when they cried and stayed firm with them even when you didn’t want to. They were 2 little, tiny versions of you. You’d butt heads when they acted like you and it made me chuckle. Still does.
When you grew and changed into a more mature, beautiful version of yourself I always knew was in there, you grew as my baby daddy, too.
Your patience grew with time. Your empathy, compassion and understanding did, too. Learning how to handle more emotional creatures than you, has made you shine with them – and me.
You never cared what gender your kids were, if they looked like you or didn’t (and of course they both look mostly like you) or how many we would end up having. You just wanted kids and my love for you made me want them with you, and produced the best gifts in the world.
You are so great with both of them. They couldn’t be more different in the ways they handle the world but you’ve found the ways to reach both of their hearts. You protect, provide both physically and emotionally but most importantly, spiritually. The latter to which I am most appreciative.
Watching you with them brings me more joy than I can explain. Knowing my girls know without a doubt that their daddy truly adores them for who they are is the best feeling in the world. I’m forever grateful you are my baby daddy.
Happy Father’s Day, Love! I love you more than I can express.
Open Letter to My Baby Daddy, Stephen B. King, Father’s Day 2021.